102 days old

Already wearing 6 month onesies!!!!

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14 wks and 4 days old. Why is time going by so fast? Another doctor told me today that I should sell my milk. She said she’s surprise with how big he is and that my milk will def help premies. I trained in NICU for a couple days and would love to do that. I remember my first baby that I took care of and how extremely fragile he was. I was pregnant at the time and I remember how much love I gave to that newborn baby. He was the first baby that I fed, changed a diaper, bathed and was the first time I got attached to a patient. I will never forget him and how jealous I got when his parents came to see him.  I just got so attached and wanted that precious little boy all to myself lol. Little did I know, he was actually training me to be a mom to my own precious son.

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There’s no fear…

There’s no fear in love. Instead complete love drives out fear 1John4:18

Before I was pregnant, I had my life figured out. I’m the type of person who had a plan a, b, c,… and so on. I joined the Air Force in order to help my mom. My dad passed away and I decided to join guard instead of active. I didn’t want her to be alone and that is why I made that decision. At the time, I was torn in either being a nurse or an optometrist. I worked for an optometrist for about two years and loved it; however, I always wanted to help people. How awesome would it be to save someone’s life? When I saw the position opened in Fort Worth as a medic for the Air Force, I fought for it. My goal was to go to training and if I liked it, immediately go to school to be a nurse. I already took all the perquisites, took the exam to apply for nursing school, but never submitted my application. I just didn’t feel that in my heart I was good enough and at the time didn’t know if that was my passion. So, I go to tech school and all of the sudden I meet this guy who was so FULLLLLL of himself. Def not the type that I would go for.  I didn’t believe in love and was AGAINST a tech school relationship.  The relationship was doomed to fail from the start. Especially, since he was in the Navy and I was in the Airforce and this was just tech school. We heard so many stories about relationships, people getting married in tech school, getting a divorce, blah blah blah… But, date after date, that guy from class turned out to be everything I always wanted. I was scared and everything felt soo rushed; yet, at the same time felt right. After Joey left to California, I found out I was pregnant during my second phase. I was scared and I remember laying awake thinking wth I was going to do. Two hours later, I texted Joey letting him know that the test turned out positive. Instead of acting scared, he was noble and told me that he will be there for me every step of the way. I believed every word of it. We were planning to get married anyways, just not that soon. Now, here I am… In California, happily married to my best friend, a new mom, and own a Dalmatian. The one thing that I wanted most in my life was a family, and now I have one. I wouldn’t trade my life for anything else. I’m glad for the decision I made and I thank God every day for what he blessed me with.